Extra Points

President Trump has taken center stage again, appearing before America as the chief spokesman for the Pandemic Task Force, a group that also includes medical personnel. The docs aren’t needed though, because the President knows what’s causing the spike in Covid-19. “When you test, you create cases,” the President assured America.

What you don’t know won’t hurt you, right? If you don’t know the corona virus stats, you think the president is doing a good job. Come November, you’ll let him keep it.

Besides, if you get covid-19 you might not be able to vote. Dead people don’t vote. Or do they?  The president claims they might. But if we don’t know they’re dead, they don’t count. Just in case, the president and the GOP are working to stop write-in ballots. Let the dead rest in peace.

Back to testing, the President is an expert on testing. He just aced his dementia test. “I’ve got a great memory. I’m cognitively there. I got extra points,” he crowed.

Why boast? He’s challenging Joe Biden, his doddering opponent, to take a test to prove that Biden is up to the task of running America not ruining her.

Trump knows of what he speaks. He sent federal agents to Portland, Oregon where domestic terrorists are threatening Democracy with unlawful assembly. How does Trump know? The president, a very, stable genius just aced his government test, too. Unlike his S.A.T., no one took this test for Mr. Trump. He took it himself. The Lame Stream media leaked the test and Trump’s answers. Yes, he earned extra points for extra answers.

How many branches of government are there? Branches? Like Trees?

  1. Three
  2. Two
  3. One – Me, Me, Me, Me, Me

Who controls the purse strings?

  1. Ivanka
  2. Ralph Lauren
  3. Congress

The Bill of Rights:

  1. Requires a tip
  2. Can be put on a credit card
  3. Contains the first Ten Amendments to the U.S. Constitution

The First Amendment, including the right to assemble:

  1. Comes with instructions
  2. Works best with Gorilla Glue or goons, especially in Portland
  3. Allows for a redress of grievances

The Second Amendment guarantees the right to:

  1. Bare Arms, sleeveless or tank tops
  2. Bare Faces
  3. Carry a gun

Forcing Americans to wear masks is not a freedom this President will jeopardize. Americans have the right to:

  1. Make each other sick
  2. Spread disease
  3. Look good on Instagram. Don’t mask that smile.

Freedom of the Press is:

  1. Used by most Chinese laundries
  2. A basketball strategy
  3. Only available when the gym is open

The best way to reduce the Corona Virus

  1. Stop testing,
  2. Stop counting
  3. Don’t eat Chinese
  4. Keep your death a secret

America can relax. We’re in good hands now. Health and prosperity are right around the corner. Pay no attention to the 150 health experts and doctors who just signed a doc – hey, a pun – calling for another shut down again before thousands more die, taking their votes to the grave.

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