As of Saturday, July 11, 2020, the United States recorded 3, 315, 629 cases of Covid-19. 136, 958 people have died as a result of the virus.
But the greatest victim of the disease is our Commander-in-Chief, the President of the United States, Donald J. Trump. Sources told the Washington Post that Mr. Trump now greets visitors with a pandemic preamble, moaning: “Woe is me. I’m a victim.”
On Friday, July 10, the U.S. reported its biggest single case load. An infection rate of 67,000 in a single day, eclipsing the previous day record set earlier in the week by 6,000.
But the president, who always touts record setting and greatness, doesn’t see this record as something to boast about. He prefers single digits. “Woe is me,” says he, according to the “Deep Throat or Throats” in the White House, whispering to the Lame Stream Media. The pandemic happened to him not the country, according to the leakers.
The president is in good health or so he says. Mr. Trump even announced that he passed his cognitive test, surprising his doctors or so he says. He didn’t have to drink bleach to do it, either. And, he has a job.
The Department of Labor, for the week ending July 4th, reported that 1, 314,000 Americans filed unemployment insurance claims. The unemployment rate that week was 12.4%. Those Americans, many of whom are wearing masks and struggling to catch a breath and a break, are worried about eating, remaining in their homes and paying medical bills should they get Covid-19. They are victims, but they’re not alone.
“Woe is me,” the president whined. The virus is destroying the greatest economy ever, an economy he personally built. Another related complaint: the fake news never gives him credit for creating this economy – a Trump Tower extraordinaire.
George Floyd, who lost his life in an encounter with Minneapolis police, is not the real victim of bad policing, though.
“Woe is me,” the president cried to aides. Those dumb cops in Minneapolis have provoked racial protests across the nation at the same time Mr. Trump bested Abraham Lincoln, the president who issued the Emancipation Proclamation, freeing the slaves.
“Woe is me,” the president complained. Mr. Trump has done more for blacks than Abraham Lincoln. He said so himself before he stood in front of Mr. Lincoln at Mount Rushmore.
Furthermore, Dems and protestors are trying to erase our history, according to our president and Historian-in-Chief. Where do we go from here? We don’t have a cure for Covid-19 yet or narcistic paranoia. Maybe this summer.
In the meantime, expect more woes. In Texas, hospitals are ordering refrigerator trucks. Covid-19 deaths are filling up morgues. It’s hot, and we’re running out of ice. Does the Victim-in-Chief use ice in his Diet Cokes? Woe is us if he does.