Par for the Course

Doctor Feelgood played a couple of rounds of bash the media during special news conferences at his private club in New Jersey over the weekend while America reached a new high. The U.S. surpassed 5-million coronavirus cases. No other nation has approached that high. Brazil, holding the number two spot globally, reports 2,962, 442 cases.

That’s what it’s all about, making America great again, the president said, strutting his stuff before his fellow golfers gathered in the club’s ballroom beneath chandeliers. Besides, the president insisted for the zillioneth time, testing is what is causing these numbers to skyrocket.  And he wants schools to reopen, where testing is commonplace. Golly!

Back to his argument. What you don’t know won’t hurt you, right, the President insists? If we don’t know how many people test positive for Covid-19, we won’t know how many people are sick.

Several thousand people on ventilators disagreed, but they were off mic, in other words, non-responsive in pollster jargon.

Looking like Easter eggs in their pastel golf clothes, the bare faced clubbies, all rich white guys, sipped wine – you cannot sip wine and wear a mask – while the president boasted about the July jobs numbers.

Hole in one? Not quite. Economists think the numbers indicate the economic recovery is losing steam.

What recovery?  Anyone who would ask a question like that must be an anarchist like Sleepy Joe who would raise taxes by three trillion dollars, killing stocks and 401K’s and causing the biggest crash. That’s another Twitter truth – a BIRDIE – tweeted this past weekend by the President himself.

Besides, the president signed an executive order, a real deal if it were not unconstitutional. The U.S. Constitution gives Congress power of the purse. The President’s executive order, signed at the club, promises all those poor slobs who are out of work four hundred bucks a week. The president told the golfers he did not want to give the slobs too much money or they might not want to go back to work. Mr. Art of the Deal had to step in because Congress had failed to reach an agreement to extend unemployment benefits.

In the middle of the first news conference some reporter raised the question of the masks. The golfers, woods and irons alike, were all crammed in the same bag, not six feet apart, without masks in violation of New Jersey pandemic laws. Oooh! The golfers hissed and booed spreading germs and bad breath throughout the ballroom.

A club employee arrived with masks while the President made snarky comments about fake news. The golfers cheered. The President remarked that now the golfers know what he must put up with when he is confronted by fake news practitioners. Nasty reporters are after him daily.

Plus, the president added, peaceful protests are allowed in Jersey. Protestors can raise their voices and bitch without wearing masks, ensuring that their voices will be heard.

In the meantime, as of Sunday, August ninth – 161,964 Americans have died because of the pandemic, their voices silenced forever.

 

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