School Daze

President Trump is insisting that schools reopen this Fall, fully reopen, five days a week, students behind desks, smiling. He’s even threatening to withhold federal funds if he doesn’t get his way, leaving many Americans in a daze.

Most school districts are resisting the President’s message. Many districts are developing alternative plans that call for hybrid classes, some online, some in person, but on a rotating basis. In other words, students would attend on a weekly basis rather than a daily basis. Not all students would be in the classroom at the same time, allowing for social distancing.

Does this mean masks?

Surely, Donald Trump wouldn’t demand that American school children wear masks to school. Of course, everyone knows kids can and do call in sick, when they have the measles, covid-19 or they must go to Gramma’s funeral cuz she died in the pandemic. Or the hoax, did she die from the hoax?

Gramps can’t go; he’s on a ventilator.

Why would a man who can’t complete a sentence or answer a direct question care if American students learn to think clearly?  Why learn to use metaphors or similes when derogatory insults are so handy? Why learn to write essays that require sentences, paragraphs and punctuation?

The president doesn’t write essays anymore – did he ever? – he Tweets. One doesn’t have to be in a school building sitting in front of a blackboard – hey do we need those anymore? – to learn to Tweet. Besides, English is a second language now. Emoji spoken here!

As far as arithmetic, two plus two isn’t what it used to be either. No one needs to prove that their numbers add up. Just tell everyone that your tax returns are under audit. That way you’re free to make a mistake, cheat or ask the Russians to do your homework.

Before they were forced by the President to take ‘em back, the Centers for Disease Control issued guidelines, including information that says social distancing works to prevent the spread of the coronavirus. White House press secretary Kayleigh McEnany told reporters that science should not stand in the way of schools reopening. She later denied that. Truth isn’t what it used to be either.

No word yet on whether the White House believes science should be taught. The President relies on his gut. The stable genius has caught Dr. Fauci, a real scientist, in lots of mistakes.

According to CNN, some administration officials claim that keeping kids at home poses more danger than sending them to school, where their friends and classmates might sneeze, cough or pick their noses.

Data on how many students are subject to suicide ideation or abuse at home is not yet available according to the White House. Not yet are the key words here.

But, there’s too much data available on testing results. That’s why the coronavirus numbers are skyrocketing. To fix that problem, the White House is opposing a Congressional measure to increase funding for coronavirus testing and treatment.

Not surprising, really, coming from a President who reportedly paid someone to take the SAT test for him so he could get into a good college. It’s easier to find people to help you cheat in school.

What is the correct answer to the question? Why, Mr. President, why? Why expose countless children, parents, faculty and staff, the whole of America, to the spread of the coronavirus?

It’s the economy, stupid. If kids are in school, more parents will be able to return to work. In other words, jobs, jobs, jobs?

WRONG! Only one job matters, the President’s. If he isn’t re-elected, he’s outta work. He’ll no longer be an apprentice; he’ll be a full-blown loser. Who would watch him on TV?  🤬

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